i'm feeling so fucked from everything.
everything is just not going smoothly or not going the way i wanted.
i'm like the roots of all problems and i am still trying to push the blames to everyone.
take for example my injuries, i pushed the blames to my friends. i told others because of them, i hurt myself. saying that i shouldn't hurt myself at all in that situation when everything is just an accident and soon after pushing the blames to my friends, i would start to blame the month, saying that "April" is a lousy month and it gaves me bad luck. i'm sucha loser isn't it. everything was just an accident but i made it that everything befall on me was bad luck.

recently, i'm starting to lose my temper so oftenly that i think i will start to lose my friends slowly. one by one they will hate me for being sucha stucked up person. i really tried to control but.. its just beyond control. did i mention about the weather? yeah. i blamed the weather for causing me to be so uptight or short tempered. how pathetic i am.

my bestfriend & i just had a dispute with each other. she says i am a changed person. not the old me anymore.
am i really a changed person?
this question really keeps me wondering.
maybe i am never a good friend to being with.

Labels: ranting