blog's the place i can only turn to.
its just somewhere i can really write down how i feel but not really satisfy the emptiness.
my friends, i really needed them. they weren't there for me. ha. very expected.
so i can only pen down what i am feeling here.
and i got this gut feeling that very soon my temper is going to worsen and 1 by 1, my friends are going to leave me. er.. maybe its already starting to do so.
this sucks..

and like i said, i am very dejected after the rejection from lasalle. i'm leading life aimlessly. i thought i could do art but well, no hope anymore. maybe i just not cut out to be an art student. neither am i cut out to be an engineer.

have anyone felt the same way as me before? probably not. my life is like screwed to the max yeah? i've to choose between school or army. definitely not school and definitely not army YET. theres a reason behind it. i'm not going army is because, to me, life is going to be more screwed up after army cause i will spend my 2 years in without having a certificate or no fucking idea what i want to do in the future and lead a more stupid life than ever. if i continue study, i'll prolly waste another 2 years studying things which i don't even understand a fucking shit and grow old, still not knowing what i want. tell me, what can i do to my life to make it better?

everyone out there is like leading a much happier life than me. knowing what they want. blessed with things they want. able to take things calmly. i envy people who are blessed with good prospect in the future

unlike me..
i'm not happy at all.
nobody understands..